Life lessons from ‘BrideChill-a’

“Not too busy at all!” Vanessa replied. (Yes, that very same Vanessa you read on NEP newsletters).

I was a tad befuddled. All the weddings I’ve known have been extremely involved. And she was inviting me to stay for. . a week!?

Knowing her and Scott, I knew things would go fabulously anyway. And I packed my bags for Down Under.

Enroute to the chapel, I was laughing with her friends, “Most people are ‘Bridezilla’. This is the first case of ‘BrideChill-a’ I’ve ever seen”.

And get this, it turned out to be the most tasteful and elegant wedding I’ve ever attended.

Leading to the birth of this post.

Do what matters

The five of us were walking along Paddington when one asked Vanessa where she’d done her photoshoot.

She laughed, saying that didn’t matter.

The crux was that no one would see her in her wedding dress until she arrived at the chapel.

We had a spirited discussion about the fetishisation of pre-wedding shoots in Asia, where couples fly to exotic locations for these. And this has become another marker for social comparison, to best each other at.

The deal is, in life there are many aspects of the social carnival we unwittingly participate in.

And much of this fluff does not add meaning, but rather depletes our energy credits.

Questions to mull upon then, would be:—

  1. What really matters, that I should focus on?
  2. What can I eliminate?

Do it only when you want it

“Thank you Dad for teaching me all about compound interest before I could spell my name, so I could marry only when I wanted to!”, Vanessa laughed during her speech.

It made me think, there are so many things we settle for, because we believe they will rescue us, that only end up serving as band-aids. Eventually, they become traps of our own making.

As we ooh-ed at the adoring smile Scott has for his bride, it was a lesson in never settling.

Specifically, not settling out of fear.

And designing a life where you don’t have to settle.

Celebrate love, life and family

Buster, the gorgeous Cavalier King Charles, strutted down the aisle, the rings attached to his collar.

Of course, he had to be part of the ceremony.

People flew down from all over Australia and the world.

And the ceremony was held at the chapel in the college where Vanessa and Scott first met as students many moons ago.

There couldn’t be more loveliness in the simplicity of remembering to celebrate what matters.

It doesn’t need to be #pinterestboardwedding

Every Instagram Wedding tries to best each other.

Whether it’s location or the trimmings or. . lord knows what.

But there’s always apoplectic stress levels (cue the different breeds of Bridezilla), people falling out, and more importantly, there’s a chasm between Instagram and reality.

You know, those edited zoomed-in scenes where it looks picture perfect, but in the background, everything is harried and it’s not what you’d imagine.

BrideChill-a’s wedding had no Instagram Vs Reality issue.

Rather, it was the most tasteful one I’ve attended.

Sure, the white Rolls Royce, Manolo Blahnik heels and the reception at Bennelong didn’t hurt.

But they weren’t one of those things that were screaming out for attention, but rather, lovingly- and tastefully-curated elements.

Down to the sausage rolls.

Having lived in the UK for 10 years, I’ve eaten my fair share of sausage rolls; mostly, they’ve been crappy.

Never would I have imagined saying, “I went to Sydney and had the best sausage roll of my life. And it was better than most canapés I’ve ever eaten”.

I’ve eaten a lot in my life.

Keep it low-key

There was a tiara, there was a beautiful gown, there was gorgeous hair.

Vanessa later told us, she found a hair artist very casually, and asked her to pop round to prep hair “for a function”. She hadn’t even said it was for a wedding.

There was no sweat, no obsession, because she knows what she wants.

And when you know that, you can chill and shine.

Case-in-point: my friends kept pinging me “THOSE BACK MUSCLES!”, in response to how her gown showcased her stunning muscles.

It was a lesson in how keeping things elementally simple can be the wisest strategy.

Or, in Einstein’s eloquence, “The definition of genius is taking the complex and making it simple”.


If you’d like to find out more, join the conversation in our next open workshop.